First of all, I'm sorry.
I know you're hurting.
I know you spend most of your days a mess behind your bedroom door.
Or collapsed in the shower because your legs can't handle the pain.
I need you to know it's okay to be a mess.
It's okay to not to be strong.
I know you lost someone or something you loved.
That you're aching in places you had no idea could ache.
And that your heart hurts.
To the point where your chest is physically in pain.
I need you to breathe.
Don't focus on letting go right now.
The first step is to just. Breathe.
I know that everything in you wants to give up.
Keep on breathing. Your presence is needed here.
I know you're afraid of 2018 because you don't want to get hurt anymore.
You're afraid because you know how happy you can be and how in a split second it can be stripped from you.
I just need you to know that eventually those pieces of your soul will come back.
That that part of you that you lost isn't gone forever.
I know you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.
That getting from one day to the next is unbearable.
Take it one day at a time.
If making plans for the new year hurts too much just make this one:
Focus on loving yourself.
You are allowed to take care of your heart.
I know it's difficult.
That you have good memories and you have bad ones.
But please don't forget 2017.
Each piece, broken or whole, is something that will shape you into the person you were meant to be.
Let yourself hurt. You have to in order to heal.
Rebuilding is possible.
But in order to rebuild you have to heal. In order to heal you have to hurt.
Again, I'm so sorry you're hurting. I'm where you are. So if you've been feeling alone, just know I understand.
I promise you're not alone in this. I promise we'll make it through together.
For now, breathe some more. Go have your sparkling cider or champagne. Count down to midnight. And start 2018 with no regrets.
Love you. Proud of you. You're doing great.